Thursday, August 24, 2006

I Love You...You Love Me - But Who The Hell Asked Margaret Wente?

Apparently Marg was not happy enough with the "welfare ghetto" comments. She has stuck her face back in the window long enough to shout "and another thing - you're fat too!" Sticks and Stones Marg.

I find her phrasing particularly humourous: "I like Newfoundlanders, I really do, but St. John's weighs in with more fat people per capita than anywhere else in the country (36 per cent, versus Toronto's slender 16)".

Where I have heard that before? 'I like Newfoundlanders I Really Do'?!

Was it when she said: "I like Newfoundlanders. I really do. But their sense of victimhood is unmatched"... or perhaps when she said "I like Newfoundlanders, I really do. Where would we be without Rex Murphy and Mary Walsh and Rick Mercer? On the other hand, they left" ... or this recent one "I like Newfoundlanders, I really do, but St. John's weighs in with more fat people per capita than anywhere else in the country."

So we can draw a couple of conclusions from Margaret: 1. She likes Newfoundland, no really she does! and 2. Toronto is not only the centre of the universe but boasts only 16% fat people. Send them the Medal - the contest is over! Margaret, may I introduce you to Mr. Toronto (below). He has something in his coffee cup you will be particularly interested in. Me thinks I have a reason why T'rontonians are so damn trim... but it wouldn't be polite to tell you about it here.

... and give me back my bloody hat - I said you could try it on, not adopt it...


Wednesday, August 23, 2006

"Stuff" from T'rono

A lunch time walk downtown is never dull. This gentleman appeared on the corner last week proclaiming himself to be Mr. Toronto and holding a banner with the words Toronto Appreciation Day.

What-up dawg?! He is gallivanting around the country with a banner, a camera and a insulated coffee mug full of ... ah... well ... Poop actually. He calls it "Toronto Sludge" and he offered it as a gift to Newfoundland and Labrador because as "everyone knows we don't have a lot of arable land and this stuff is a "rich multicultural stew"." He didn't get any takers on his gift oddly enough. Maybe it was because anything offered up from Toronto can't be good news; or perhaps it was the fact that the smell from his "stew" was enough to overpower even the infamous funk of "the bubble". Given that "the bubble" is being stirred fresh by bulldozers, the fact that the Toronto version could, not only do battle with our local brew, but in fact overpower it... no small feat for a coffe-mug of treated poo.

The real stink from Mr. Toronto though comes from the fact that he is sponsered by the CBC. Our CBC. With a grant, a bottle of poo and a camera there he goes spending the bucks of Canada's broadcaster.

Of course this is all meant to be a tongue in cheek look at Canada's hatred for our Quasi-New York. The intention appears to be to show how great Toronto is by filming the fall-out of Canada's other cities to make T.O look good in comparison. With a small assortment of professionals and tourists out for their lunch time stroll he finds the one poor unfortunate who has stumbled upon the scene on his way from the booze laden bars of George Street. "and you sir - what do you think of Toronto sludge!"

I'm sure it will be a quality piece of work worthy of the quality of the CBC. If it doesn't work out he can stuff the film into a Horton cup and offer it around the Country as new and improved sludge from Toronto.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Garbage Day in St. John's

Update: For some reason Google has chosen to place this article high on a search for "St. John's Garbage Day" If you are looking for the schedule: Otherwise if you are looking for general sarcasm and sauce, stay where yer at :)

A city by-law to cover garbage with netting starts on the same day as the opening of the food fishery... coincidence?

I think there is a net-makers mafia at work...