Consequences of Last Night's Election:
* Giant novelty cheques for expectant mothers.
* Giant electrical outlet for Red Bay. Giant extension cord for St. Anthony.
* Fiber Optic fed for everyone!
* Have Status in two years – Canada seeks new scapegoat.
* Out-port Newfoundland and Labrador now called “cottage country”
* One step closer to Danny acquiring The Bomb. Steven Harper is spied at Home Depot buying new locks, batteries and candles.
* Opposition meets at Tim Horton’s.
* New NDP Slogan: "From Nun to One"
* New Tory Slogan: "Four Seats to a Dictatorship"
* New Liberal Slogan: "F%$K ya we tried!"
* In Gambo: “Joey’s Lookout” to be renamed “Joey, Look out!”
* Seeking funds, the Liberal Party of Newfoundland and Labrador changes its name to “Pepsi, The Choice of a New Generation Party of Newfoundland and Labrador”